I Want A Cheeseburger…NOW!
27 January, 2010 | getfitchick | No Comment
This non-fat skinny hazelnut latte something or other is doing nothing but pissing me off. I’d give up my first born and any future children I may conceive for something laced in fat and mounds of calories. Dieting is hard. Wait, scratch that. I’m not dieting I’m trying to live a healthier lifestyle and I’m pretty sure I can accomplish this as long as I don’t have to forgo sex. If that were to ever happen I’d wreck havoc on this planet. I truly am trying to change what I eat and how often. My braces were adjusted the other day and now I have bands along the sides since I’m in so much pain and limited to how much junk I can shove into my mouth I’m fairing well in that department. Let’s see how things continue to progress when I can chew again.
I’m going to be honest and tell you that I haven’t spent any major time in the gym. I work out at home when I’m not on the phone with the boyfriend or doing something with the kids. I could definitely stand to put more effort in being active, but for the time being I have to take what I can and hope that I lose at least an ounce off my expanding belly.
Being only 5′1″ I feel like I resemble a chubby 5th grader.
When You Can’t Think Of A Title.
26 January, 2010 | getfitchick | No Comment
I’m not going to talk about weight loss or how insanely happy I’m feeling about my smile. Hell, I’ll even be nice and not talk about the boyfriend this time around and focus more on the everyday mundane life I’m living…
I have a job for which I am internally grateful for. Sometimes it’s demanding and fun and other times I want to jump off a really tall building really quickly because the pain of it all is far more bearable than sitting at a desk trying hard to look like I’m doing something when in fact I’m on facebook. Not to mention my personality clashes greatly with the cynical, pessimistic people that I work with. Would it kill you to come in to work and say “good morning” instead of grunting and acting as if someone pissed in your coffee cup? Geesh. I’m need to look for a better paying, family friendly company to work for, but the economy scares the Bejesus out of me so here I remain…for now so I remain prayed up that I survive this each and everyday.
I’m starting to feel the itch to move. Coupled with the fact that the man I presume to be the love of my life is living in the city that I would ideally like to be in makes living in Cincinnati intolerable times infinity. I’ve been half ass looking for employment there, but based on my readings from the locals I’ve been advised to stay an arms distance away from the windy city. Well hell, that effin sucks right? Yes. Yes it does.
Oh and let’s talk about my hair and my skin and how icky it’s starting to look. I’m rocking a bun because I’m #1 too lazy to sit under the dryer and #2 too cheap to get my hair done so I deal with it as best I can or at least until I find products that won’t leave my hair feeling stripped and stringy. That right there is a blog for another day because black hair deserves a post all its’ own. So…my skin is blotchy and oily and it has never been that way before and I think it’s a tell tale sign that oh my goodness I’m getting old and my semi wrinkly face is reminding me to do something about that-which I will. Eventually.
3 months and counting…
26 January, 2010 | getfitchick | No Comment
So I’ve had my braces on for the last three months or so and I’m already seeing a huge difference in my smile. I’m loving it!!!
5 A.M. Who Does That?
25 January, 2010 | getfitchick | No Comment
Working out is always better with a partner. It’s even better when the workout session is actually sex and your partner has stamina that matches or exceeds your own. It’s great motivation. Since my bf lives in CST I’m not getting the workout I feel I so desperately need. I digress.
Moving forward I got a 5 a.m. wake up call from the drill sergeant aka my bf so I immediately got my arse up outta bed and listened to Billy Blanks motivate me to privet my hips. I listened for 15 minutes and did something I can only assume was jabbing and piveting. I worked out an that’s all that matter. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step and in my case an upper cut. Now I’m trying really hard to finish this Thinkthin bar which tastes a lot like nothing. I didn’t have time to make breakfast so this will have to do even though I tried and failed a thousand times to throw it out the window. It just kept coming back.
I’ll conquer this if it’s the last thing I do…at least between now and the time I give up…I won’t though I promise this time. Cross my heart and everything.
Enough Already
24 January, 2010 | getfitchick | No Comment
I have to decide NOW if I’m going to be one of those people that remain on the sidelines or if I’m going to be a team player. I choose to get in and take one for the team.
Truly I’m sick of my procrastinating ways. I was thinking the other day that had I been fully focused and attentive to my goals when I set them last year I’d be 100% complete by now. It has to stop and I choose today to put an end to it.
I’m almost afraid of what’s ahead of me, but if I don’t press forward I’ll never move. In the beginning I think I was focused on seeing instant gratification and now that I’ve thoroughly thought things through (say that ish 5 times fast) I’m in it for the long haul. There’s a lot I have to accomplish and I can only hope and pray that God gives me enough time on this earth to complete the important ones.
Just like most people I have a weightloss goal. I’m overweight and that sickens me because I have complete and total control over what I put in my body yet up until this point I made poor choices. This journey I’m starting today isn’t about losing weight, but about a lifestyle change that should have started years ago. I can’t change my past so I must start with my present. Eating right, becoming best gal pals with my doctor, and making frequent trips to the gym are at the top of my to do list.
All the foolishness ends today. Gotta stay focused. That’s my goal
Invading….
19 January, 2010 | getfitchick | No Comment
I’ve been in Chicago since Saturday and I’m not sure how I feel about the extended stay that was unexpectedly thrown at me. My flight was canceled and at first I was thanking God for that because it meant another 24 hours to be with my bf. Now that I think about it the situation was kind of selfish. I can see it in him that he’s ready for me to leave. I’m not quite sure if it’s annoyance, but I think he’s use to being a free to roam about unattached person and here I’ve come taking that away from him.
I don’t know how to be his girlfriend. I’m afraid of trying to hard or not trying enough. It’s scary, but such is life I suppose. You deal with what you are given and you make the most of what you have and press forward.
I won’t continue the spiel about how it’s a world-wind fast sort of love and just leave it as being love. At least on my part. I don’t know anymore.
Smitten
15 December, 2009 | getfitchick | No Comment
I can hear the rain drumming down the side of my garage. It use to annoy me. That noise in the middle of the night during the only time I’m at peace. Now it has a soothing affect as I listen to it tap tap tap almost as if it’s preparing for a dramatic performance of percussions and string instruments.
He’s on one side of the room and I on the other. I look up from my daze and he’s staring at me. I flash him a smile of glimmering metal-a sign of my transformation and I walk over and he just holds me. His arms are my favorite part of his body. Strong and soft and supportive. It’s been such a long time since I felt I deserved that.
“We’ll be fine. There’s no need to rush this. I’m yours, I promise”
He’s talking about our “relationship” the one that’s taking off at the speed of light. I’ve been pulling back for awhile now and it’s been a game of tug of war. He pulls me forward and again I pull back. The rope hasn’t snapped as I was expecting it to. He won’t let me go and I don’t want him to. It feels different on this end. He cares and tells me that he cares. He proves it to me in ways that I’m unfamiliar with, almost uncomfortable with. He opens doors and asks about my day and sends me jelly belly jelly beans because he knows I like the pear flavor.
I’m a mother first and he’s willing to take the backseat and let me be mommy even though days have passed since we’ve spoken and he’s always waiting for me when I’m free.
I’m starting to care and I remember what that felt like the last time and I’m reminded that it wasn’t reciprocated. I’m just a little jaded and I’m trying not to be. I’m so thankful to have such a patient man in my life. It feels good that he’s okay with crawling…because I’m not quite ready to walk.
I’m So Over My 10 Year Old
10 December, 2009 | getfitchick | No Comment
My 10 year old daughter has decided that behaving like an actual humanbeing is beneath her. Lately her perferred method of communicating is the eye roll, foot stomp, lip smack, or the look of death that she has manage to perfect since I used it 17 years ago.
I have no clue what happened to my sweet innocent little girl that didn’t mind if I kissed her in public. I remember she would damn near break her brothers’ arm if he reached for my hand to hold. Now? Now if I even look in her direction the dramatics start and I have to deal with “Mom, really? Do you have to stare at me?” or “What the heck dude?” Who is the demon child?
I’m well aware of the fact that kids grow up and will eventual proclaim to the universe that they no longer need their parents, but I didn’t expect the shit to hit the fan so early. I’m on an emotional roller-coaster with this child as I’m trying to hold on to my baby girl and dress her in pink even though she wants the black skinny jeans and neon converse high-tops.
I had her when I was 17 so we’ve spent our entire lives growing up together. I learn from life and she learns from me and we relate to each other on a different level, but lately I’m watching her grow into her own person and it’s sad because next month she’ll be 11 years old and I’m not sure how to deal with it. I’m not worried about her not needing me. No matter what age we are we always need our mothers. I call mine everyday, but it’s just the realization of it all that has me going through some sort of crisis.
Arguments have replaced laughter. She jerks away from me when I try to hug her, she rejects me. My 10 year old daughter rejects me…who does that shit? It’s like a breakup. I’m being dumped by my kid. Go figure.
Lord Jesus help me.